April 2020
We’re now into our sixth week of self-isolation with a further three weeks guaranteed. Goodness knows what will happen after that but it’s not looking great. The notion of looking ahead has become very bleak indeed; Holidays, outings, concerts, gatherings, sporting events have all been shelved with no clue as to when we could expect them to return. Our own existence reverberating around the walls of our houses or apartments trying to make sense of the time, minute by minute, day by day.
If only I’d done that. I wish I’d gone there. If only I’d decided this.
These words may well haunt us. The ‘if only’ conundrum.
This time last year we decided to sell our house in Portugal. We had no real reason to do this. Everything was fine, bills paid, weather perfect with views across the ocean beautiful and eternal. But we felt there were changes that required our attention despite not knowing exactly what these were.
In an extraordinary series of events and serendipitous conversations, we sold the property in three days before actually going to market. We walked away with no regrets and very little furniture deciding to leave all of it out there.
Now, we chat regularly about how relieved we feel about having sold, especially in these extraordinary times. We’ve asked ‘What if we hadn’t sold? Or ‘Should we have waited?’ But the decision was made and we live with that.
There are likely to be times after this ‘global pause’ when we’ll regret that we didn’t do more. Perhaps wishing we’d done all the things we should have done that were on the original ‘to do’ list. Looking back at wasted opportunities or looking forward to better times when we will definitely get around to finishing, clearing, sorting, making good all the loose ends in our lives.
What this isolation is actually teaching us is not about looking back and blaming people, or indeed looking forward, despite that being a relatively exciting prospect.
It’s everything to do with today, now, where we are at this very moment. Rather than living with regret or looking ahead, we need to live in the now and do whatever it is, right now.
No good having the ukulele chord book right in front of you saying you’ll learn it tomorrow. Or walking into the spare bedroom in need of serious renovating with the promise of doing it next week.
We have no idea what tomorrow will bring. We have no clues what getting back to normal might look like. We don’t know when this will happen.
” So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
We see this every day in the news with our valuable and amazing NHS. Care workers, nurses and doctors sacrificing themselves daily so that we can remain safe. This day is enough. Let’s not worry about what we could have done, or what we want to do. Do whatever it is now. Enjoy today and make it valuable for you and others. It’s all we really have and all we can be certain of.
Treat today as the best gift, the real present, and cherish it; Embrace the day!
(Ripple dissolve to present day…..)
I wrote this as you can see six weeks into the Pandemic. We’re now eleven months in with more sickness, death and absolute lockdown throughout the entire country. Many people were looking forward to the new year. ‘Say goodbye to 2020 and welcome in 2021 for a new start and new life’. The reality so far is at least four months of continued isolation with a gradual releasing of the tiers. We have several vaccines which is the good news, to fight several new strains of the virus, which isn’t so good.
The creative and artistic world has come to a grinding halt with no support from government and no clue as to how this will ever recover. Many artists, dancers, musicians, singers and performers are without any sustainable work and continue to be ‘encouraged’ to find alternative training and work. In short; Utterly scandalous and offensive.
But again, writing as I did in April 2020, when we all wished this would be over within a few weeks, let each day be enough. It’s almost too much effort to look ahead. We must keep on keeping on and simply be for now. Write that song. Draft that idea for a book. Create that screenplay. Write that great business proposal. Be Creative. It’s in our nature and we have the power. Especially over this uninvited and cancerous virus that has threatened to destroy our very souls. Please forgive me for repeating this but it’s all we have especially at the moment:
” So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
